Rotten or Respectful?

I'm turning the screen toward my husband as I write this so He can see every word. Just typing the blog title makes me cringe ... and proves how necessary transparency truly is.

Respectful communication is a must in marriage. There's just one problem—the little pink thing that flaps back and forth in my mouth. Without warning it rages. I'm sure you have as much trouble with yours as I do with mine.

Proverbs 12:4 says, "An excellent wife is a crown for a husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness in his bones."

A few weeks ago, Mark and I hit a slippery slope. To tell you the truth, I didn't even see it coming. I let my responsibilities with my ministry take precedence over my marriage, and before I knew it, my husband was sending me an email to tell me how he was feeling.

An email.

After reading it I had a choice to make—respect him and acknowledge his feelings or shame him and shirk responsibility.

The second choice would've been much easier. I could've come up with ten-thousand excuses about why I was so busy. After all, serving God is paramount, right?

Wrong. It's number five on the list. According to Titus 2, it comes after my relationship with Christ, my husband, my children, and my home.

By the grace of God, I didn't go on a rampage as I've been known to do in the past. Instead, I respectfully talked to him with a repentant heart. I confessed to him my misplaced priorities and asked him to forgive me. And just so I didn't forget what I'd acknowledged as sin, I shared his email with two ladies on my leadership team for accountability.

There isn't a man in this world that wants to be shamed. That's why the locked-vault syndrome occurs when you disrespect your man. I know you know what I'm talking about.

You disrespect him; He clams up.

Then you get even angrier because he refuses to talk.

Men need the respect of their wives, which is why Ephesians 6 commands wives to respect their husbands. In the Greek, respect means "to fear, reverence, or be in awe." That sounds a lot like how we're supposed to treat God, doesn't it? God has given our husbands authority over us here on this Earth until he returns from heaven as our bridegroom.

When was the last time you stood in awe of the amazing gift God has given to you in your husband? Praise Him and thank him today for joining you together as one flesh, and confess to God any disrespect or shame you've shown your man. But don't just tell God; tell your husband as well. Then you'll be his crown.