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Friday, November 5, 2010

Waiting on the Harvest

It's been a whirlwind of a week ... filled with a whirlwind of emotions. After a fun day of shopping last Friday with my mother-in-law, Lorraine, and my daughter, Grace, we traipsed through the door at 8:00 p.m. exhausted.

As I sat down at my computer to check my email, butterflies flittered in my stomach. It was a little over four weeks since I had heard from the editor regarding my book proposal, and I knew she said she needed up to four weeks to give me a response. I hurriedly scanned my Inbox, but as the bold black letters of her name crystallized before my eyes, my heart skipped a beat.

This was it- acceptance or rejection.

I breathed in deeply and opened her email. I don't think I've ever read one so quickly. My black desk chair almost toppled over from the force of my body as I leapt from my seat. I screamed "PRAISE THE LORD" at the top of my lungs and literally danced around my yellow kitchen. You should have seen my Praise Jesus dance!! I could've given David a run for his money (2 Samuel 6:14). My mother-in-law quickly joined in, and we were both jumping for joy. Grace looked at us with a crooked smile as if we had both lost our minds. But once I explained to her that her mommy's Bible study was going to be presented to a publishing board, she rose from her seat and began dancing too!

Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the emotional high of Friday night to be replaced by an emotional low. Fear replaced confidence. Doubt replaced belief. And before I knew it, I was completely overwhelmed.

What if my proposal actually got accepted? How would I juggle writing a book with mothering three children seven and under and homeschooling two of them? What if I didn't have the endurance to pen an entire curriculum? What if I let the publisher down? I was plagued with what ifs. No one in the publishing world ever told me that success was just as scary as failure.

But then I remembered that God is not the Father of fear. That title belongs to the Devil. God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). I don't have to be afraid because God doesn't call the equipped; He equips the called.

One of my devotions this week in Jesus Calling summed it up superbly.

Walk peacefully through this day. You are wondering how you will cope with all that is expected of you. You must traverse this day like any other: one step at a time. Instead of mentally rehearsing how you will do this or that, keep your mind on My Presence and on taking the next step. The more demanding your day, the more help you can expect from me. This is a training opportunity, since I designed you for deep dependence on your Shepherd-King.

Walk peacefully.

Don't wonder- trust.

Take one step at a time.

Keep my mind filled with the perfect presence of Christ.

Expect more help when the days are demanding.

Realize I'm traversing God's training ground.

So I've vowed to walk peacefully and wait expectantly on the harvest. And even if I have to run to the horizon seven times before God answers (1 Kings 18:44), my prayer is that I'll run believing He is able.

15 comments:

lynnmosher said...

Oh, the fear that dirty devil tries to impose on writers! If we can quickly recognize those rocks of the enemy's discouragement and stand on God's Word, we will never stumble over those hindrances. Great post and thoughts, Stephanie! And congratulations! Will pray for your proposal's acceptance! Be blessed! :D

Warren Baldwin said...

Congratulations! This step is an important victory on the way to more. I really like Lynn's comment. Faith in God's grace to bless your work will see you through. wb

Carrie Turansky said...

Hi Stephanie, I loved the thoughts you shared from that devotional book. Could you give us the title? It's been fun to share this journey with you and hear how God continues to lead you and walk with you each step of the way.

I had good news this week too...a new two-book contract for a mini series with Steeple Hill. Then the next day I had a positive response from another publisher for a different proposal for a historical romance set during the Civil War. They were hoping I had a completed manuscript, but I only had the first three chapters. Still, the editor said she was very interested and she wanted to read it as soon as I finished. Need to write faster! : )

I will be praying for the next steps with your Gem's Bible Study.
Carrie

Katie said...

Wow. I so needed to read this. I am there, sister! I am so in this place. It's weird, huh? Fear of success? crazy.

Olga Wright Griffin said...

Stephanie,
It seems that you are in good company...just look through the Bible and you will see that there are others with exactly the same feelings! God will take care of all of the question marks of time, family and ability to get it written, but you already know that, because of what He has done for you in the past. It's going to be great and I am so glad to be able to watch your journey.

LisaShaw said...

You share your heart words beautifully and I can relate. Love and hugs!

HeatherLea said...

So glad I can join you in the Praise Jesus dance! But what a word on the blunder of "what if's" that come in the light of our "successes". I pray I too nay continue to learn what it means to run to the horizon with expectation!

RefreshMom said...

Congratulations on getting a 'yes' for the next step of the process, Stephanie!

I know so well those highs and lows and the doubt that intrudes your thoughts when you think there's no doubt left.

Praying God's continued blessing as you follow Him along this path.

Mary Hampton

Julie said...

Your words always find a way to touch me and draw me closer to my Lord. Thank you for speaking His Truth into my life.

Holli Ratcliffe said...

Thank you for sharing your heart...I too often fear things that are potentially in the future, and it is good to be reminded that God tells us to only be concerned with today, and trust in him for tomorrow. I love the passage from the devotional...

Stephanie Garneau said...

Lynn, thank you for your encouragement and prayers. Warren, faith is definitely the key. If God is for us, who can be against us? Carrie, the title of the devo book is Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. So excited to hear your wonderful news. Thank you for your continued prayers. Katie, it's been a blast walking this journey side by side. Olga, you are such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for believing in me. Lisa, sending hugs back to you! Heatherlea, I consider it an honor to serve alongside you. Mary, thank you for praying! Julie, that's my goal- to draw you closer to the feet of Jesus. :)Holli, we'll face the future together knowing that God is ABLE to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask or imagine!

Shannon Richardson said...

Steph,

The Author of Truth has His mighty hand on this and all things, and as you pray His will be done, so it shall. You are a faithful and encouraging daughter of the King, and you teach the TRUTH to so many women. Thank you for your obedience to the Lord, and I can't wait to celebrate with you, no matter what!

"And without faith it is impossible to please him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him." - Hebrews 11:6

Ashley said...

Stephanie, I know how you feel. That is exactly where I am right now. The week my book got accepted was the week my father was diagnosed with cancer. My son is four and my dad was watching him so I could write. So many other things have happened and there have been times when all I could do was to ask God to give me more time to write and bring people to help me. He has done that. It continues to be a great struggle but all you can do is take one day at a time. Praying for you. That is great news! Blessings! Ashley

Stephanie M. Page said...

This really speaks to me! I feel God calling me to write, but don't know where to start. It is so fun to see there are other Christian women out there like me! I found you through twitter and am so glad I did. Congrats, and God is faithful. ;)

Stephanie Garneau said...

Shannon, thank you for your encouragement and friendship. You are a GEM!!! Ashley, I am praying for you and your dad. I know God has a plan for your book and will be praying that He supplies your every need!!! Stephanie, I'm glad God spoke to you. Pray and ask God where to start. He will lead you and guide you in unimaginable ways. He is so faithful! :) Blessings to you as you seek God's face in this area and step out in faith.

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